How many times have you heard self-care defined as a selfish act? As a child, were your attempts to address your own physical or emotional needs classified under the negative label of "selfishness"? While some argue that certain acts of self-focus can be narrowed down to a meager level of selfishness, the practice of genuine self-care is actually an essential expression of holiness and wholeness, both for ourselves and the world that we inhabit. In other words, to undermine the value of self-care, calling it "selfish" is quite misguided.
Self-care refers to actions that individuals intentionally engage in to maintain and enhance their health and wellbeing. It encompasses a variety of elements, including but not limited to, physical care (eating healthy food, exercise), emotional care (managing stress, establishing and maintaining social connections), as well as spiritual practices that nourish our souls. This definition can help clarify the true purpose and value of self-care as distinct from the disparaging characterization of "selfish."
The Far Reach of a Mispelled Term
Regrettably, the connotation of "selfish" may cause us to avoid engaging in self-care activities, as if focusing on personal needs were somehow inherently negative. Such a view robs us of the potential for fully inhabiting our humanity. It also fosters a pervasive misunderstanding within various systems of social support—leading to ill-conceived criticism or dismissal of necessary therapeutic efforts.
This misinterpretation affects more than just individuals; even organizations struggle under this distorted portrayal. For example, workplace wellness programs that foster care and empowerment in employees are sometimes criticized as "coddling," an overindulgence in self-importance.
For those who promote mental health or therapeutic interventions, the misleading "selfish" stereotype further taints these practices by associating them with incessant self-absorption or self-indulgence. However, in reality, psychological wellness professionals strive to assist clients in cultivating empathy and meaningful connection with others. In so doing, they help their clients improve their relationships, increase productivity in their work, and contribute to a greater good overall.
Caring for oneself, then, is not synonymous with the wicked denigration of all around us, despite its mislabeling. To equate self-care with selfishness is a grave misjudgment of its vital role in living a full and compassionate life.
Acts of Self-Care: Caring for Ourselves & Others
Grounding our perspectives in the humble pursuit of wellbeing promotes a lifestyle of balance, true generosity, and holy enthusiasm. Self-care is not a selfish endeavor, because the implications of nurturing ourselves reverberate throughout our daily lives. When we tend to our needs, we fortify ourselves to better meet the challenges that life presents.
An adequate understanding of self-care reminds us that the practices themselves are not inherently isolating. On the contrary, in being rooted in the holistic experience of human existence, they ideally help us to care more effectively for our families, communities, and the Earth at large. Like the stewardship of any beloved thing, to genuinely love and care for ourselves of fers a broader vision in which self-interest does not eclipse the awareness of our interconnection with others and the natural world.
In truth, self-care is about being responsible and responsive to the deeper impulse for life, of which we and all beings are a part. As philosopher Henri Nouwen asserts, our central identity is that of a "beloved son or daughter" who longs to offer her gifts without being consumed in the process. To not take care of our energy reserves—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—misrepresents this deepest commitment and undermines our capacity to give fully to others.
Andrew Weil, a renowned advocate of holistic health, holds that one's physical, mental, and emotional health are inextricably linked. Accordingly, the practice of self-care on these dimensions necessitates active engagement in connecting with and caring for the environment and community in which one lives. Living out our responsibility to and dependency upon our shared planet is at the heart of true self-care.
Thus, caring for oneself reeks less of self-obsession and more of a healthy understanding of our reliance on and responsibility for all that surrounds us. Viewed through this lens, true self-care is a call to stewardship, a role of prophetic witness and nourishing love. This entails recognition of the common roots of our suffering and pain, inviting us to alleviate discomfort when possible and help restore the world to its intended wholeness and unity.
When we bring self-care back into proper alignment with its true function, then we can see it not only as a crucial component of wellbeing but also as a means to model and facilitate greater respect, cooperation, and balance throughout our world.
In conclusion, the valiant but misguided call of self-care as selfish is a false signpost on an important pathway to wholeness. May we reclaim rightful territory for the nurturance of our physical, emotional, and spiritual selves, allowing for the healing of individual lives and the wider ecosystems in which they are situated. Genuine self-care, far from being a shallow form of self-interest, is a glimmering call to a more sustainable, wholly connected way of life, which ultimately serves an Encompassing Love for all life.